Jokes

An elderly man who is 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So he summons the three most important people in his life to tell, his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer.

“Well today I found out I don’t have long to live. So I asked you three here, because your the most important people in my life. And I need to ask a favour. Today I am going to give each of you and envelope with $50,000 dollars in it. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money in my grave.”

One day George Bush went to give a speech at an Elementary School. He asks the teacher what the children are studying and she replies that they are learning about Greek Tragedies. So the President decides to talk about Tragedies. He asks a student, “What would you consider to be a tragedy?”

The kid thinks for awhile and then says, ” If a boy is running after a ball into a street and gets run over by a car and dies.” Bush responds, “No, I don’t think that’s a tragedy… that’s an accident.” Then Bush asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy.

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man, who had recently died, to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million.”

The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million.”

The lawyer concluded, “And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will, well you are wrong. Hi Dan!”