A blonde had always been teased by friends and family that she was dumb and didn’t know what she was doing. She was even told this by her husband.
One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She’s determined to prove to her husband that blondes arn’t dumb, by painting the kitchen.
When her husband gets home he says to his wife “Honey why do you have 3 coats on?”
The blonde says, “Well the directions on the paint said to use three coats for best results.”
A new store for women has opened and has become all the rage. In this store women have the chance to choose for themselves a husband. The store has six floors to it with dozens of men on each. Each floor that the women go up the men will have more positive attributes.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
A grade school teacher asked her students how to properly use the word ‘fascinate’ in a sentence. Molly was the first to raise her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate, not fascinating’.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate.’”
A wife had thrown her husband a party for his 60th birthday. The couple had been married for 25 years and because of this a fairy appeared to them both to grant them each a wish for being such a loving couple.
The wife said, “We’ve been so poor all these years, and I’ve never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world.” The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.
A man was mowing his yard one day when his blonde female neighbor came outside of her house and went to her mailbox. She proceeded to open it, look inside, and they slammed it shut before she angrily walked back into her house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Three blondes are in an elevator when it suddenly stops and the lights go out. They all try using their cell phones to try to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others “I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together.”
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly “Together, together, together.”