The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Bulldog and a Doberman are in a bar having a drink when a female Collie walks up to them and says, “Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me.”
So the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese.” The Collie replies, “That’s not good enough.”
The Bulldog says, “I hate liver and cheese.” She says, “That’s not creative enough.”
Finally, the Chihuahua says, “Liver alone . . . cheese mine.”
Dan Quayle, President Bush, Bill Clinton, and Ross Perot were traveling together to see the Wizard of Oz. When they finally arrived to the Emerald City they were allowed to see him.
President Bush was first to see the wizard and said, “Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart”. So the Wizard said, “So be it”.
Next was Dan Quayle who told the wizard, “People think I’m unintelligent and have no common sense whatsoever. I want a brain. The Wizard said, “So be it”.
A little boy was hoping that he could get $100 so that he could buy himself a bike. For weeks he prayed – but he did not receive any money.
That’s when he decided to write God and ask for the money.
When the postmasters saw the letter addressed to God, USA they chose to send it off to the President.
The President was amused and thought it was so cute that he told his secretary to send the little boy $5. Knowing that this amount would seem like a lot to such a young boy.
A blonde was craving pizza so she decided to stop by her favorite pizza shop on the way home from work. After she ordered what she wanted the assistant asked her if she wanted it cut into six or twelve pieces.
“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
Bob’s wife was pissed at him because he forgot the most important day of the year – their wedding anniversary. Just before they went to sleep that night she yelled at him and said, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”
Early the next morning his wife woke up and when she looked outside at the driveway she saw a small box. She went outside and picked up the gift-wrapped package curious as to what it might be.