Jokes

A farmer walked into an office that belonged to an attorney looking to file for a divorce. The attorney greeted him professionally when he walked in and asked, “How can I help you?”

The farmer replied, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.”

The attorney said, “Well do you have any grounds?”

The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?”

The farmer said, “No, I don’t have a Case. I have a John Deere.”

Two young boys were sitting outside their pediatrician’s office where one of them was crying very loudly. The second boy came up to him and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The first boy said, “I came her for a blood test.”

“Are you afraid?,” asked the second boy.

“No. They cut my finger for the test,” he said

When he said this the second boy began to cry loudly.

Quite surprised the first boy asked, “Why are you crying?”

To which the second boy replied, “I came for a urine test!”

Barack Obama was sitting next to a sweet looking little girl on an airplane on his way back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl closed the book that she was reading and said to him, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

Jon and Amanpreet are two lawyers who were heading to play their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offered Minaret a $50 - which he agreed to before they began the game. They both had a great game and after the 8th hole Amanpreet looked at the score and noticed that he was ahead by one stroke. Unfortunately he cut his balls into the rough on the 9th hole.

”Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither man is able to find it. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulled out a ball from his pocket and tossed it to the ground. ”I’ve found my ball!” he yelled.