American History
Suzuki was the son of a Japanese businessman who lived in Marietta, Georgia. Today he would be entering the fourth grade and therefore he was excited and eager to learn.
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?’”
She examined the faces of her students as they stared back at her with blank faces. All except Suzuki who had his hand up in the air and said, “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth’”? Again, no response except from Suzuki. “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”, said Suzuki.
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.” Just then he heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Japs.”
“Who said that?” she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. “Lee Iacocca, 1982.” At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”
The teacher glares and asks “All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Suzuki says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little punk. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.”
The teacher faints. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh crap, we’re screwed.”
Suzuki said, “The Taliban! 2001″