Jokes

Friday morning the teacher decided that she was going to make things fun for her whole class and motivate them to pay attention in school. She told them that she would read off quotes and whoever was able to guess who said them would be able to go home early.

The first quote she read off was, “This was England’s finest hour.” Suzie raised her hand and said, “Winston Churchill”.

“Congratulations,” said the teacher, “you may go home early.”

The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but..” Before she could finish the quote, another young lady belts out, “John F. Kennedy!”

A grade school teacher asked her students how to properly use the word ‘fascinate’ in a sentence. Molly was the first to raise her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate, not fascinating’.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate.’”

Little Johnny comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help.

“Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask you sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you have learned.”