Barack Obama was sitting next to a sweet looking little girl on an airplane on his way back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl closed the book that she was reading and said to him, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
Suzuki was the son of a Japanese businessman who lived in Marietta, Georgia. Today he would be entering the fourth grade and therefore he was excited and eager to learn.
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?’”
She examined the faces of her students as they stared back at her with blank faces. All except Suzuki who had his hand up in the air and said, “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth’”? Again, no response except from Suzuki. “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”, said Suzuki.
During an interview with David Letterman President Carter decided to share a translation problem that had happened to him while in Japan. He said that at the time he was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, Japan. He decided to open his lecture with a joke to help ease the mood.
He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story was quite short, Carter was surprised by how quickly the interpreter was able to re-tell it. Even more impressive was the reaction from the crowd. Carter thought the story was cute, but not outright hilarious, yet the crowd broke right up. Carter was very flattered.
President Bush was sitting in his oval office listening as Donald Rumsfeld gave his daily briefing. At the end of it he told the President, “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”
“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
The whole staff sat there and watched as the President became quite emotional and were waiting patiently for his command and what action he wanted to take.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”
Hilary Clinton is busy trying to do the duties of being a Senator. She goes for her usual check-up when her doctor informs her that she is pregnant. She is furious at this news and the minute she leaves the doctor’s office she calls up Bill and begins to yell at him.
“How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you??!!! I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have you got to say???”
Before he got his haircut Bill Clinton asked the stylist Christophe. “How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will this look?”
Christophe replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christophe handed him a bill for $200.
Clinton gasped, “You took too long, it doesn’t look that great, and it is costing me ten times more than you said!”
Christophe replied, “That makes us even.”
Dan Quayle, President Bush, Bill Clinton, and Ross Perot were traveling together to see the Wizard of Oz. When they finally arrived to the Emerald City they were allowed to see him.
President Bush was first to see the wizard and said, “Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart”. So the Wizard said, “So be it”.
Next was Dan Quayle who told the wizard, “People think I’m unintelligent and have no common sense whatsoever. I want a brain. The Wizard said, “So be it”.
A little boy was hoping that he could get $100 so that he could buy himself a bike. For weeks he prayed – but he did not receive any money.
That’s when he decided to write God and ask for the money.
When the postmasters saw the letter addressed to God, USA they chose to send it off to the President.
The President was amused and thought it was so cute that he told his secretary to send the little boy $5. Knowing that this amount would seem like a lot to such a young boy.
A woman bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and after driving it off to take it home she turned on the radio and noticed that it only had one channel. Angry and confused she drove back to the dealership to get the problem fixed.
When she was got back to the dealership she told the salesman the problem. He proceeded to tell her that she had a smart radio and that all she had to do to activate it was to tell it what type of music she wanted to hear and it would find the closest channel.
Hilary and Bill Clinton decided to take a leisurely drive for vacation and on their way they passed through Hilary’s hometown. They were low on fuel and decided to stop at a gas station where they ran into Hilary’s old fling. The man at the gas station comes out and looks into the window.
“Hey, Hillary! Do you remember me we used to date in high school?” he asks.
After talking and catching up on the times Bill pays and they leave. While driving away Bill - who is feeling good right now - looks over at Hilary.