Crippled Drunk
A drunk man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop saw him from down the street and pulled up next to him and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”
Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” he said. “Let’s go.”
The drunk had a smile on his face and said, “Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.”