Keep Calm Albert
A man was pushing a cart in the supermarket that had a screaming baby in it. A woman standing next to him kept saying out loud, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.”
A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.”
The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”