Jokes

A guy brought his pet monkey into the bar with him and ordered drinks. The monkey sat there for a few minutes and then began to jump all over the bar and act crazy. The monkey grabbed olives off of the tables and ate them, then began to eat some sliced limes before he jumped onto the pool table stuck the cue ball in his mouth and ate it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” “No, what?” says the guy. “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!” says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he eats everything in sight. Quite an appetite.

I’ll pay for the cue ball and other things he ate.” He then finishes his drink, pays the bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s back at the same bar again, monkey by his side as usual. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did?” “What this time?” asks the patron. “Well, he stuck a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that darn cue ball he measures it first!”